Most of us treat joy as something that happens to us. Something goes well — a promotion, a compliment, a good meal, a holiday — and we feel happy. Something goes wrong, and the feeling leaves. We live, without quite noticing, as if our own mood is somebody else’s job.
The more we depend on external events to make us happy, the more dependent we become — mentally, emotionally. We’re outsourcing something that was always meant to be ours to run.
Here’s the truth that’s harder to sit with: there isn’t a single person alive who doesn’t struggle. Big or small, the kind varies, but the universe seems designed to hand every one of us some version of difficulty. In that sense, we’re all in the same boat. So if joy only arrived when life was going smoothly, none of us would get very much of it.
Which is exactly why joy has to be treated differently — not as a feeling you wait for, but as a habit you build, a faculty of the mind you actively train, the same way you’d train a muscle. You can raise your baseline happiness by your own effort, independent of what’s happening around you. That’s a very different — and much more empowering — proposition than hoping the next good thing will fix your mood.
What does practicing joy actually look like day to day? It starts with noticing your default: are you generally waiting for something to feel good, or are you choosing, in small ways, to feel good regardless? It’s noticing a moment of ordinary beauty and letting yourself register it, instead of rushing past. It’s catching yourself mid-complaint and asking whether the complaint is serving you. It’s treating gratitude, warmth, and lightness as things you do, not things that happen to you.
This isn’t about denying real struggle — struggle is universal and it’s not going away. It’s about refusing to make your baseline happiness hostage to it.
Try this for a week: once a day, deliberately choose to feel good about something small, without waiting for a reason. Notice how different that feels from waiting for joy to arrive on its own.
From the Wellness Wisdom lecture series at Mystic Yoga.
About the Author
Abhishek Maheshwari is a yoga teacher, author, and the Founder of Mystic Yoga. His work integrates Yoga, Meditation, Ayurvedic Nutrition, and Spiritual Philosophy to promote holistic health and well-being through classes, retreats, and corporate wellness programs.